WORK IN PROGRESS REPORT
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Office hours notes
Notes taken during office hour meeting with the teacher
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Self-portrait artist Cindy Sherman: self-conscious portraiture. Adopts persona, identity construction in society, reflection of identity.
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Express feelings of loss (as a model in confinement)
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What do I have in control since I have all the roles behind the scenes? What I am bringing to the project that wouldn't be there without me?
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Missing the "Why have you done it" = objective. What do they convey, suggest ideas.
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Taking charge of my body, sensuality/sexuality.
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Different messages in dramatic poses.
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Comfort with body. Revelation of body.
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2 images animate a scene: suggest movement = suggest a narrative unfolding. Examples:
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Negative vs positive
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Front vs back
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Dimensions in space and time
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Abstract narrative
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Left to right (from beginning to ending)
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Are my images always speaking to the theme I'm exploring? Works shouldn't contradict my theme. Intention communicated in photos.
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Every word I use shapes and shades the project.
Before class presentation
Changes made to the project
Title: "Reclaim of the Self"
After presenting my project proposal, I understood that my project was not a series of self-portraits, but more like a model portfolio where I control the creative direction. Also, I realized that it was too "shallow" if the significance behind it was to simply take pretty pictures. Therefore, I asked myself "Why am I taking this type of pictures? Now that I am in control of photography, styling, and set design, why did I make these creative choices? What am I trying to show to my audience?"
I realized that these were the least-clothed photoshoots I had ever done, and that since I've always been uncomfortable showing too much skin in front of photographers and other people, the only reason why I was able to so right now was because I was my own photographer. I could allow myself to explore sensuality because there was no one there to criticize me about it. That also reminded me of the negative criticism I received from my paternal family (refer to How my Parents Taught me to Hate Myself) and from my partner. Although it's in all the past, I still feel hurt by it, so I wanted to show that despite not having the ideal curvy figure or the perfect beauty-standard confirming face, I too, can look confident and sensual (although I prefer not venturing to the sexual side).
This is how I changed my title to "Reclaim of the Self," since the direction of my project is to reclaim my body as my own, which I can choose to show or hide and to portray any way I want, with all its flaws and blemishes, without "Lettin' a man tell me what I should do in my bed" (lyrics from the song Nightmare by Halsey, which I will address later below).
Editing: Lightroom
95% of the pictures have been edited in Lightroom. What is left is to use Photoshop to retouch the background (where the fabric ends and where we see the white foam on the poles).
Photos: added setting
I added pictures of the set-up (without me). I think it's good to not always see me, but to also see a picture where nothing much is happening, yet there is a mood being set.
Text: quotes and song lyrics
I used the lyrics of 3 songs to accompany certain pictures. Lost by BTS is about a person who has lost their path and is feeling confused, scared, and frustrated, but eventually finds their way. Nightmare by Halsey is about a strong woman who is tired of toxic men in society using women, who is fighting for women's rights and who will no longer stay submissive to the things being done to her. Towards the Sun by Rihanna is a song about facing the bright side, not looking back, and growing into more powerful individuals.
I chose these 3 songs because I felt like they reflected my feelings throughout my journey of letting go of self-hatred and walking towards self-acceptance.
Questions:
Are the song lyrics appropriate? (because I find them cringy out of context)
Would it be better to pair pictures with quotes, with lyrics, with titles, or with nothing?
Should I introduce the purpose of my project in a short paragraph at the beginning, or is it clear enough?
After class presentation
Changes made to the project
Answers to my questions
Most of my classmates did not find the song lyrics cringy, but suggested that I used pair the quotes with some pictures as if my portraits are used to contradict them and prove them wrong. However, the teacher said that since my pictures are not the "fierce" type, but rather give off a soft and delicate feeling, this contradiction might not shape my narrative in the right direction. Others also suggested a written "prologue" and "epilogue" paragraph to introduce and conclude my work. Some also mentioned using just one word (instead of a phrase) with certain pictures, and having no text paired with other pictures.
Photo order: left to right
As the teacher mentioned during my presentation: using empty pictures of the set must serve a purpose. The order of the pictures matter. Although abstract, there is a different effect in having the subject leave a space or enter a space. Departures often cause sadness and bittersweetness, while arrivals often create excitement and anticipation. Plus, the first picture has me blindfolded, which conveys my state of being blinded by the criticism of others and not finding my true self.
Taking all of this into consideration, I reorganized the order of my portraits. I still start blindfolded, but in the next picture, I am also constricted by my surroundings, suggesting another form of imprisonment from the criticism. I am also facing the left, directly looking at the disapproving words of others. In the photobook, I start by looking towards the left, and slowly gradually turn towards the right. This symbolizes me ceasing to look at other people's words, therefore moving forward. In our society, the reading direction is from left to right, and many platformer video games are also built to have the characters run from left to right, because this is the direction that represents moving forward and achieving. Furthermore, I made myself "leave" the setting at the beginning (sunset curtains set) and after the middle (dried plants set); but I "arrive" in the setting in the second half after the middle (green plants set), as I bloom and find my path.
Text: sentences and song lyrics
I kept the negative quotes at the beginning, so that the photobook would unfold an evolution from negative to positive, instead of being constantly hit by negativity throughout. I also kept certain lyrics from Lost and Towards the Sun, but removed those from Nightmare because they felt a bit too aggressive. Instead, I formulated a few sentences that I broke into short phrases (almost like a free-verse poem) that speaks about my doubts and realization. It is addressed to "you" because it's like me speaking to myself, as if I were my own friend (sometimes it's hard to treat ourselves kindly since we're too harsh on our own successes/failures, so it helps to treat ourselves as we would a friend). I also used "you" in case the person viewing my project might be going through something similar, so I wanted to address them directly.
